I've written 'em now all you have to do is buy 'em! I've written and illustrated the following two books of fun children's poetry. Great for kids of all ages to read or be read to (makes for great bathroom material for the adults too!). You can get your very own signed (by me!) copies now for just $15.00 a book (plus shipping). If you'd like to order or just want to drop me a line, shoot me an e-mail at
iplaywithclay@gmail.com. Want a chance to win your very own signed free copy of each book? Then check out my friend Marlene's great blog at
http://disguisedasagrownup.blogspot.com/. Check out her hilarious posts and watch for her upcoming give-away of my books. If you don't win one, come on back, I've got plenty!
There's a Hippo in my Bathtub
Whether you have hippos in your bathtub, a lion in your closet, or have always wondered what it would be like to soar as a kite, there’s something for everyone in Brian Lock’s
There’s a Hippo in My Bathtub. Rediscover the joy and wonderment of being a child again, or watch that old familiar twinkle creep into your children’s eyes as their imagination lets them blast off into outer space from the comfort of an old cardboard box. You can drift away on the clouds, or run amok with monkeys, reminisce about riding your first bike or encounter a talking crab; this collection of poetry is fun for both kids and the kids inside us all.
Crayons & Paste*
Billy ate the crayons,
I just ate the paste,
He did it for the attention,
I did it for the taste.
Now when Billy smiles,
His teeth are orange and blue,
I can’t even smile,
My mouth is stuck with glue.
Let this be a lesson,
Please learn from my mistake,
When my mouth finally opens,
I think I’ll stick with cake.
Toys*
Toys they break,
From time to time,
But toys that break,
Aren’t usually mine.
My big, dumb brother,
He took a fall,
Right on my toys,
He crushed them all.
Over my toys,
I cannot flip,
For I’m the one,
That made him trip!
Goldfish*
I bought a new goldfish,
I taught him a trick,
I taught him to sit, to stay,
To catch a brick.
I taught him to fetch,
I taught him to speak,
But since that brick,
He’s played dead for a week.
* All work, both here and in the book, is copywritten and may not be used without my consent.
Chicken Lips & Rocket Ships
In the much anticipated follow-up to the widely popular There's a Hippo in my Bathtub, Brian Lock again asks those lingering questions that few dare to ask: Do you have a purring rhino under your bed? A pet dinosaur in your backyard? Maybe you're just planning on building an elevator to the moon. Sound impossible? Chicken Lips & Rocket Ships will open the door to your imagination and introduce you to the purple-spotted Frozard, April May June, and what really happens when you tell a joke to a lactose-intolerant cow. Make friends with that thing under the stairs or the new squid next door. Find out why rusty old robots are the best and learn that while we may have to grow old, we don't have to grow up.
Lactose-Intolerant Cow*
I’m a lactose-intolerant cow,
Don’t ask me why,
Don’t ask me how.
Don’t tell me jokes,
Of the funny sort,
Because if I laugh,
I’ll begin to snort,
And if I snort,
My milk it blows,
Not through my udders,
But out my nose!
Finger Painting*
Finger painting,
Sure is fun.
I like to do it,
On the run.
I put the paint,
Onto my fingers.
On mommy’s wall,
My artwork lingers.
Of my work,
She’s not a fan.
Now on painting,
There is a ban.
With something else,
I’ll have to play.
I wonder if Picaso,
Started out this way?
Swimsuit*
I tried on my swimsuit,
It’s two sizes too small.
It’s hard to believe,
That it fit just last fall.
It took me an hour,
I had to shimmy and shake.
I probably shouldn’t have had,
Second helpings of cake.
So off to the store,
I guess I’ll be making that trip.
For I’m sure no one wants,
To see me skinny dip.
*All work, both here and in the book, is copywritten and may not be used without my consent.
Congratulations to Rufus and Scrappydoo!! Both ladies won a free signed copy of one of my books, and all they had to do was post a comment…..doesn’t get much easier than that!! A special thanks to my friend Marlene (http://www.disguisedasagrownup.blogspot.com/) for hosting the give-away! Check out her blog, she’s one funny chick! If you weren’t lucky enough to be Rufus or Scrappydoo for a day, don’t worry, you can still pick up one, both, or several copies of either of my books…signed of course. They make great gifts for kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, that two-bit punk that keeps knockin’ down your mailbox, and yes, they’ve even been child tested and approved for adult consumption! Here’s your chance to be ahead of the curve on that next BIG THING…so order now!! No operators are standing by, but my dog does check my e-mail, so order now!! 
